Howard Stern and his crew routinely take celebrity audiobooks and mix and match words and syllables to create rude and outrageous phrases that sort-of sound like they’re coming from the celebrity. The results are creatively stupid and often disgusting toilet humor, a fraction of which might pass as an actual sentence but most of which sounds outrageous and stilted. Howard and Robin present the phrases like they’re real and talk about how crazy it is that the person would be saying that, but it’s glaringly fake and it’s doubtful anyone believes it. Former Star Trek star George Takei has gone on the show when people are prank-called using mixes of his books. He’s laughed through it all good-naturedly, likening the results to raunchy audio Picassos.
One of the latest celebrities to be subjected to an audiobook sampling mix is 62 year old country legend Dolly Parton, and hers was definitely obnoxious and insulting. Phrases included:
God damn I love n*r cock
Kenny Rogers loves to piss inside little boys a*holes
Linda Rondstadt is a really fat tub of sh*t
Instead of trying to ignore it or saying that it was an obvious manipulation, Parton issued a statement that it really upset her and that she’s considering suing:
Dolly Parton has hit back against “The Howard Stern Show,” which last week manipulated recordings from one her audio books into seemingly racist and sexually graphic sound bites.
“I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,” Parton says in a statement. “I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this.”
“If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this,” she continued. “Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this.”
[From Billboard.com via Gossip Rocks]
The phrases attributed to Parton involved the n word and pedophilia so you can see how she would get extremely upset about it. I listened to a bunch of these mixups, they’re below, and some were definitely funny but they went too far in many cases. That’s pretty much expected for Howard Stern, but you can’t blame Parton for saying that it’s way out of line and that she’s really hurt by it.
When I heard this I thought that Parton might have a new book out from which they’re sampling, but her biography Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business
Here are some clips from the Howard Stern show in which they do these audiobook mixes – warning on all of these. Don’t listen if you have kids around or are at work without headphones, they’re raunchy.
Dolly Parton Audiobook Mashup
Ed McMahon audiobook
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George Takei “calls” a self-professed Hillbilly
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George Takei Deli Prank
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Nasty Oprah Audiobook, featuring George Takei in the studio
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Dolly Parton is shown on 5/1/08 on her way to play Radio City Music Hall, thanks to WENN.
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